All Grown Up

The other day I asked Spencer if he felt like an adult. 

When I was young, I would try to picture myself as an adult. It was almost impossible! I would look at the other grown ups in my life, and wonder about the important things I would think, say, and do. Surely when I would be a grown up, I would feel different. More wise and important. 

When is the exact moment one becomes a grown up?

What qualifies someone to be an adult?

 My brother Kyle said he first realized he was an adult when he used his own money to buy a vacuum. 

Is it when I graduated high school? Or moved to Rexburg Idaho to pursue a degree? Maybe it was when I fell in love and decided to get married? Was it when I paid a down payment for our first apartment? Had a miscarriage? Moved into a two bedroom apartment? Had a baby of my own? 

Today, as I was cooking breakfast I set Finnley on the table. When I turned around Finnley was scooping dirt (and probably the cilantro seed) out of the pot and onto the table! Squishing the dirt, spreading it around, sweeping it to the floor and trying to eat it. She LOVED it and would have played all day! 

Today was the day I finally realized that I AM an adult! 

My baby just wanted to play in the dirt, it was such a carefree and fun activity that children have enjoyed for years. I am adult because the thought of sinking my hands in dirt and sprinkling it over myself didn't sound fun! I was content to let that pot sit in the window. 

An Eternal Perspective

An Eternal Perspective

Sometimes things don’t work out the way you think, or want. For the longest time I’ve held onto this vision. I’ve put a lot of thought into it, imagining the day, the feeling, what we would eat, who would be there. Everything! Graduating college with my husband. Since we first got married I have fantasized about our graduation day.  I wanted that perfect picture together, graduation gowns, standing side by side. It is such a huge accomplishment that we would be able to share together. When we found out that we were expecting, this vision that I was hanging onto just brightened. We would be able to share the moment with our daughter! She would be a part of this momentous occasion! However as I started taking a closer look at the classes I needed to take along with the demands of taking care of our sweet girl, I realized that this dream of mine would not be realistic. I was crushed. I didn’t realize how much this effected me until talking about it with Spencer during breakfast. Over oatmeal I told him my concerns about not being able to take the classes originally planned. Lovingly he reassured me that it would be ok, and I could take online classes at my own pace. I already knew this, but just hearing it spoken out loud pulled at my heart. “But it was my dream.. it was my dream.” Was all I could say before the tears started! I knew that I was going to graduate college, and I was excited to be a mom. But I’ve had to accept that while I can have both, it may not be on my time frame. I’ve had to take a step back and look at the situation with eternal perspective. It really doesn’t matter that Spencer and I wont be able to graduate together. I know that I will graduate and that my main focus for now needs to be the coming of our little angel.

 This scripture and Mormon Message from Elder Holland really touched me. The Lord is taking care of me and knows what is best. Everything will be work out.

Wrong Roads, Elder Holland

Joushua 1:9 "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."

A little message from my husband. I love this picture of our family Spencer drew, I love his humor and support. Life is good :)